Postcards From Quarantine

By Ryan Hilligoss, 11.22.20

  1. Quarantine Fog. I don’t think I am alone in this, but I have been meaning to write a few posts for a while but between politics and Covid and just being lazy, tired and/or old or any combination thereof, I’ve really been struggling being able to concentrate long enough to even contemplate writing something. Now that the sun goes down so early, I don’t want to do much of anything besides sit in my comfortable recliner, put my feet up and grab the remote or a book and veg out until I fall asleep. One day bleeds into the next in the same manner and even weekends don’t hold the luster they used to when your day to day routine stays pretty much the same. And yet here I am writing because of two things: my friend Dave, who helped set up my blog many moons ago and an ever faithful reader, made a deal with me that if I wrote something, he would do the same since we’re riding in the same existential canoe. And secondly, because of the columns of Chicago Tribune writer Mary Schmich. I have been reading a collection of her columns for some time now, Even The Terrible Things Seem Beautiful To Me Now, one column per day so I can stretch it out and enjoy the words that seem so effortless but I know they are anything but. When a professional makes it seem so easy, that’s when you know they are working hard behind the scene to improve their craft. In a column from March 21, 2003 entitled “How Not To Write” she gives 16 tips on how not to do it, and two stood out to me.

“Do not wait for inspiration. You don’t need inspiration to write, you need a deadline. If you write only when you’re inspired, you’ll have dust free floors, a gleaming toilet, mounds of clean underwear- and a blank computer screen.”

“Do not wait for “perfect” writing conditions. By the time you’ve perfected your environment, it will be happy hour. On the other hand, if you need a short vodoo dance before you write- making another cup of coffee, mating your socks, clipping your toenails- indulge in your warm up jig. getting ready to write is part of writing. But remember, as some famous author once said, that the secret of writing is staying in the chair.”

Isn’t that the truth when it comes to most thing in life; work, parenting, relationships, cleaning the house, reading, etc. It’s work: stay in the chair and get it done.

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2. Karass: As indicated above, so much of life is difficult. The day to day living is what wears you out. But it’s the friends and family you have in life as well as outsiders who inspire you whether writers, painters, and musicians to try, to look at the world differently, to write, to make that phone call, to get up off the couch and do something with your day. Just knowing someone cares and wants to hear what you have to say or just hello is enough.

From Chicago Tribune columnist Mary Schmich writing on Kurt Vonnegut’s Cat’s Cradle and the idea of a Karass: “A karass, to me, meant a group of people to which you belonged not by a fluke of common blood or nationality but because you shared some spirit, some purpose, some sensibility toward life. You didn’t know who the members of your karass were until, unpredictably, you met them, but when you met them, you knew.”

For the members of my karass whether through blood or friend, thank you for being a part of mine and allowing me to be a part of yours.

3. Early Christmas. I’ve seen a lot of debate about decorating for Christmas early this year and what’s appropriate, what goes against norms a protocols and what is civilized. Who cares??? We are in the middle of a world wide pandemic, people are stuck inside their houses for the majority of the time, people are bored out of their minds and down hearted. If you want to put up your Christmas lights or tree and decorate early: just do it. It’s none of their business. What is it hurting for someone who needs their spirit lifted to bring them some joy? The spirit of Christmas should live all year round, not just for a few weeks around the holidays.

David Sedaris Bringing The Best of Me to Watchung Booksellers | Baristanet

4. David Sedaris, The Best of Me. Like most of his fans, I first heard of David Sedaris while listening to NPR’s This American Life and the smooth voice of host Ira Glass. It’s where I heard David do his impression of Billy Holiday singing the theme to Oscar Meyer bologna, describe wild family, his mother, father and siblings, and most famously, read his Santa Land Diary story which made him a literary sensation. I’ve seen David do live readings and I love the sound of his voice and watching him make notes with a pencil as he recites each story, making edits on the fly and knowing what works or not. The Best of Me is an anthology of his favorite pieces stretching over a thirty year career. If you have never read any of his material, this would be a good place to start.

5. Music. During the last eight months of the pandemic, I’ve turned to music to get me through the days whether on long walks on dusty roads, siting at my desk working or driving. Whether it’s Willie Nelson, Otis Redding, Leon Bridges, Kacey Musgraves, John Prine or any others, their artistry, words, music, arrangements and spirit lift me up for a brief time and give me strength to keep moving. New albums recently include Chris Stapleton’s Starting Over, The Maverick’s En Espanol and Bruce Springsteen’s Letter To You. As Willie Nelson, one of America’s last hard core troubadours, says above, music is the one universal language we all understand regardless of race, ethnicity, religion or politics, it reminds us of our humanity. Below is a release of John Prine’s last recording before he passed earlier this year from complications due to Covid, I Remember Everything which went to number one on the country charts. Right up until the end, of the greatest song writers of the last 50 years was at the top of his game. His passing broke my heart and he took a small piece of me with him when he left, but I still listen and makes me see the world in a different way with each replay.

6. Carl Hiaasen’s Squeeze Me. Despite his prolific career, I did not pick up a Hiaasen novel until a few years ago while browsing through the fiction section of my local library and though I would give his Razor Girl a try. Set in Florida with witty, funny dialogue and unforgettable characters, his novels are funny, insightful and works by a master craftsman. Often featuring strong, defiant female lead characters and a wide variety of Florida land grifters, developers, back water characters, imbicilic felons and low level miscreants, each novel tells disparate stories that are entangled and entwined together and come to a roaring cataclysmic ending. His latest is a timely, satiric take down of The President, code named The Mastadon by his dutiful secret service agents who escort him from one act of debauchery to another, whether he’s getting his daily 13 minute tan in specially designed tanning booth sized appropriately for a narwhal, drinking 23 cans of Dr.Pepper a day and eating 8 McDonalds’s egg McMuffins or boning his “nutritionist” while the first lady has an affair with her own special secret service agent. Frequent characters like the former Floridian governor Clint Tyree, known as the Captain, and his care taker, former Florida State Trooper Jim Tile come to life as The Captain wreaks havoc with 20 feet pythons being unleashed in the wrong places at the wrong times, causing the President problems along the way. If you’re looking for something fun and light hearted to read, check it out.

Squeeze Me:" Widow-Eating Pythons Invade Palm Beach | BookTrib

7. Bruce Springsteen’s Letter To You. Springsteen released his 20th studio album recently along with an accompanying documentary featuring footage of the recording of his album along with the E Street Band at his home studio in Colts neck, NJ. The film, directed by long time Springsteen collaborator Thom Zimny, is fantastic and a great film for anyone to watch whether you like his music or not, just to see brothers in arms of decades work together live in the studio, collaborating and working their way through the arrangements and changes on the fly, master craftsmen at their finest. The album is the first one recorded live in studio with the band in decades and in my opinion is one of the finest of his career. I would rank it up in my top 5-7 of all his albums after having listened to it frequently for a month. Standout tracks for me include A Song For Orphans and If I Were The Priest, originally written and recorded as demos back in the early 70s but now finding a home with full band arrangements, and seamlessly fitting into the narrative arc of the album, despite the years in between when the songs were written. My favorite song by far is I’ll See You In My Dreams, the closing track of the album and one written for his missing E Street Band mates Clarence Clemons and Danny Federici, members of his first band the Castilles including founding member George Theiss who passed away in 2018 and inspired the album, as well as the friends and family he has lost along the way. As usual, Springsteen writes from his own life experiences, but he sings for all of us who have lost loved ones along the way and remember and think of them often. Thank you Boss Man.

“The road is long and seeming without end
The days go on, I remember you my friend
And though you’re gone
And my heart’s been emptied it seems
I’ll see you in my dreams

I’ll see you in my dreams
When all the summers have come to an end
I’ll see you in my dreams
We’ll meet and live and love again
I’ll see you in my dreams
Yeah, up around the river bend
For death is not the end
And I’ll see you in my dreams”

8. America

What can I say? The last few years have been exhausting. I am down hearted and dispirited not knowing until now how many truly ugly souled, mean spirited, narrow minded and self interested people walk among us on a daily basis. It has made me question my faith in my fellow citizens and our ability to remain bound by common interests and our humanity. However, we are still here, for now, and I see touching displays of kindness and decency every day whether in the aisles of the local grocery store, on TV, and in newspapers. Our country and the well being of all of us is not a contact sport, there are no winners and losers, we rise and fall together. Despite the ugliness and hatred on daily display, America remains a beacon of hope for people all over the world who still travel to our shores and become citizens, looking for a better way of life for themselves and their loved ones. Let us once again be the light that shines down the path of justice and mercy and safety regardless of nationality, race, ethnicity, religion or political affiliation. Peace and love are the way, not hatred and bigotry and self serving agendas.

Thanks for reading.

8 Things To Like Right Now

October 29, 2020

By Ryan Hilligoss

With apologies to Mary Schmich of the Chicago Tribune

  1. Mary Schmich is a columnist for the Chicago Tribune. I look forward to her columns each day they appear and usually read them twice. Filled with stories of Chicago, freindship, family, loss, life and the beauty around us, if you don’t know her work already, buy yourself a copy of her great collection, Even the Terrible Things Seem Beautiful To Me Now. I read one column every day and have been savoring it for close to a year and dreading getting close to the end. Her work is beautiful and touching whether you live in Chicago, London or Delhi. The themes she touches on are universal.
Even the Terrible Things Seem Beautiful to Me Now: On Hope, Loss, and  Wearing Sunscreen | Shop the Chicago Tribune Official Store

2. Bruce Springsteen’s latest album, Letter To You and accompanying documentary of the same name available to watch on Apple TV which is currently offering a free 7 day subscription. The album touches on themes of loss, grief, friendship, music and rock and roll. From the opening track of One Minute You’re Here through the end with I’ll See You In My Dreams, Springsteen and the E Street band show their great talents, friendship and talent from ballads to scorchers like Burnin’ Train. The movie finds the band meeting to record the album music in Springsteen’s home studio and records together with very takes and little to no overdubs…raw and hard and raucous. Another gem of directing and cinematography by long time collaborator Thom Zimny. Filmed in beautiful black and white. Rock on!!!!

Letter To You,' and the Brilliance of Bruce Springsteen | The Mary Sue

3. The music of Chris Stapleton. One of the best songwriters working today across the pop music spectrum. From Traveler on through the rest of his catalogue, Chris continues to write and record beautiful music regardless of your tastes. His new album Starting Over will be released on November 13. 2020. Here is the video for the first single released early from the album. “Maybe you’ll be my four leaf clover.”

4. Tom Petty’s Wildflowers 25th anniversary box set Wildflowers and All The Rest. When Tom originally wrote the material for his solo album, he recorded 25 songs and wanted to release a very full double album but the powers that be told him he had to cut it down which he painfully did and released 15 tracks on the original album. Here are the full 25 tracks as originally recorded and sequenced along with 2 additional discs containing home demos and live recordings. Includes the sublime There Goes Angela(Dream Away). Long time collaborator Mike Campbell and Petty daughter Adria helped go through the material and pick the tracks…..a labor of love for all involved and finally making Tom’s dream come true.

5. Family and Friends. Without them, what are we left with? Not everyone has the luxury due to loss, time, and health and some choose to turn away, but for those of us who have them, we are truly blessed despite the headaches that come with the equation. In the time of the pandemic, we feel their distance even more than normal and look forward to the day when we can once again, congregate, break bread and laugh and smile together.

6. Social Media/Zoom. During these times we are blessed to have digital platforms to shorten the distance to our friends and loved ones. Despite the distance in time and and space, we can see each other and communicate and share pictures and stories and laughter the best we can under the circumstances. Each has their down sides and can be a cess pool of invective and hate, but you don’t have to participate. use the tools given to you for better purposes.

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7. Time. If nothing else, these last 6 months have given most of us, whether we want it or not, time. Time to ponder, time to reflect, time to get things done around the house, time to renew friendships or spend time with those we/they were too busy pre Covid. When you step off the hamster wheel long enough, you start to wonder why you kept running all that time.

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8. Thankfulness. Millions of people who were gainfully employed six months ago sit on the sidelines of this “roaring economy”. People have been evicted and forced to seek alternate means of housing, meals, education, transportation and countless other small indignities. I remain gainfully employed, a roof over my head, food on the table, friends and family, shoes on my feet and all the books and other distractions I can ever get through in my lifetime. I am thankful what I have and help others when I can. As someone I know says, stay hard, stay hungry, stay alive and if you can, we’ll meet in the dreams of this hard land. Take care of yourselves and help take care of those around you. Peace.

Helping the elderly | Free stock photos - Rgbstock - Free stock images |  melodi2 | March - 06 - 2010 (610)

Intimations of Heaven In The Time of Quarantine

Ryan Hilligoss, September 19, 2020

Sailing on ancient Egyptian waters

A glowing orange sun sets on a quiet evening in July

Filling the water’s surface with glowing embers

Of memories of a beautiful day

The faces of my beautiful rewards

I could die with heaven in my eyes

An open corn field ends in a gravel parking lot

Edging up against a pole barn and secret dance floor

Hiding underneath aged oaks and their acorns raining down

Lighting and heavy rains send dancers and band alike

In search of shelter and warmth

The dance floor still wet, the band strikes up

Two old friends take the dance floor, slowly at first but quickening

The singer: freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose

A baseball diamond, anywhere USA

Cars in the soft asphalt while hotdogs spin on the open roller grill

Bright white lines chalked down first and third

Indicating the Way home

Two generations of parents sit in their stiff backed lawn chairs

Waiting for the crack of the bat and smack of ball on leather

The man stands behind the expectant catcher

Seeing all but saying nothing, lost in thought, gazing at a setting sun

And clouds filled with orange and gold

A smack of the catcher’s glove awakens

Hey blue, ball or strike?

A three day odyssey, putting Lewis and Clark to shame in length

Shared experience and time

Three generations of Illinois boys in their white chariot

A Bird in French Lick spreads his wings and flies high to a distant ocean shore

A young man in Louisville, a Champ, loses a bike but gains a higher calling

And shows the world a better way of love, peace and understanding

A young man born on the outskirts of civilization

Working and sweating in the shadows of trees

The young Hoosier splits rails, constructing a rough fence around the family farm

Keeping safe the spare crops and few head of cattle

While he strikes the fallen elms

He dreams of a better way and of distant sunsets

I could die with heaven in my eyes

Letting You Go

By Ryan Hilligoss, July 5, 2020

Ocean City, NJ 2010


Musician Jason Isbell recently released a new album, Reunions. As usual, as I listened from start to finish, I was moved with emotion, deep thoughts and tears. The last track of the album, Letting You Go, caught me by surprise and left me with tears streaming down my cheeks. In a love letter to the young daughter he and wife, incredible artist in her own regard, Amanda Shires, raise together, Isbell’s lyrics and emotion nails what almost every parents struggles with: learning to let go of their children as they grow older and more independent and begin to live lives of their own.

“And now you’ve decided to be someone’s wife
And we’ll walk down the aisle and I’ll give you away
I wish I could walk with him
Back through your life to see
Every last minute of every last day
To hear your first words, and to feel your first heartbreak
To sing you to sleep when you’re scared of the dark
The best I can do
Is to let myself trust that you know
Who’ll be strong enough to carry your heart
Being your daddy comes natural
The roses just know how to grow
It’s easy to see that you’ll get where you’re going
But the hard part is letting you go
The hard part is letting you go”

In what seem like a moment in time, my to kids have gone from just being born yesterday to being a fourteen year old girl, Aurora Eva Rose, and a sixteen year old young man named Graham Ronald. I can remember vividly what the weather was like on each of the days they were born, the nerves coursing through our veins as we waited for the doctor to come, the operating room sights and smells and what they looked like at the moment they were born. Two small baby yodas with fine hair on top, wrinkled faces and closed eyes. With no guidebook, just doing the best we could, we took them home, driving slowly with delicate packages bundled in the back seat and made the best home we could.

As hard as veteran parents made it sound, if it had only been that hard. You just don’t know until you experience it directly and stand in those shoes. Days, weeks and months passed, each bringing new stages of eating, sleeping, sickness, teething, walking and talking. As they got older and mobile, we were always looking for fun adventures and new experiences so we could watch the wonder in their new, clear and bright blue eyes.


The first four or five years with each, time seemed to slow down regardless of work and life’s other obligations and duties. Small moments stretched on forever whether in the bath tub, reading time every night before bed, walks in the neighborhood and swinging at the park. Small routines turned into treasures as they sat in my lap to get dressed every day, tying of shoes or at least fastening the velcro, carrying them from the house to the car seat and into the daycare and setting them down while they eyed the classroom to see what friends were there that day, pushing them in the grocery shopping cart as we eased down the aisles with our grocery list, and just watching as they learned to walk up and down stairs, open the sliding doors and peer out the windows at the great big world outside.

Daycare days passed into kindergarten and elementary school and that’s when time appeared to speed up and those slow moments went by quicker and quicker. It’s the little things you don’t notice at first that start to change. Like not getting a hug everyday when you dropped them off at school, being too embarrassed to be seen giving dad a hug with their friends watching. Like not holding their hands every moment as you walked them up the sidewalk to the school door, no longer being able to walk into the building and escorting them to their classroom. Like them getting dressed on their own and not sitting in my lap to put their clothes and shoes on. Like sitting next to them during reading time instead of them sitting on my knees. Things change little by little as they become more independent and self-sufficient.



One of the saddest days of my life was taking my daughter Rory to her last day of 5th grade at South Prairie Elementary. I always walked her from the car to the sidewalk and then she would walk the rest of the by herself through the front door and into the school. Next year would be 6th grade at Sycamore Middle School and I knew the routine would change to just a quick drop off at the entryway from the car. I had been taking her to daycare and school for close to ten years and knew this was the last time I’d walk at least part way with her before she started her daily routine. It might seem like a small thing to some but I knew it was the end of one era and the beginning of something new and exciting for her. 


After school days, evenings and weekends were filled with adventures and good experiences shared as a family. Movies, parks, bike rides, go karts, baseball, golf, trips to the library, swimming, and many more, stretching on from one day to the next. Moments I’ll carry with me forever even if they don’t necessarily remember them all and that’s OK.



The years have come and gone, quicker with each successive passing and circumstances have changed all of us. The deaths of beloved family members and pets and other life changing events teach one how quickly life passes and to make the most of the time we have here on earth. In short, my son and daughter have been two incredible companions on this part of the ride and I am forever grateful and blessed to have them in my life. I don’t need anyone else to tell me how hard I’ve tried to be a good father and a good partner in raising two beautiful, healthy, funny and kind human beings. The best things we can leave behind in life are family and friends who we have helped along the way and to leave the best parts of ourselves with them. It’s the only way to make the world a better place. I know once they graduate from high school and enter college or whatever they want to do, things will continue to change and I’ll have to let go even more which breaks my heart. But I know it’s part of them growing older and developing into their own lives and selves and look forward to seeing the type of people they grow into and all the great things they hope to accomplish. And they know I will always be right here and if they ever need me, they can just call my name.

Recently, due to health concerns, I’ve started walking for an hour a day. It’s on my daily treks, I can disconnect from the news and dark times surrounding us now, breathe some fresh air and clear my head. Beginning in April, as I step out onto my front porch, a family of robin’s was busy at work building a nest, little by little, blade of grass by blade of grass, right on top of the light fixture to the left of my door. With each passage in and our of the door, the robins scatter and nestle on a tree branch close by, checking me out closely. In late May, mama robin stayed in the nest no matter how many times I went in and out of the door 12 inches from her home. As the days passed, I heard sharp chirping and realized mama had some chicks nestled below her feathered breast. A few weeks later, I could see 4 outstretched necks beckoning mama to bring them lunch and dinner. And then just a few weeks later, the birds were all gone, sprung from their nest and swooping among the nearby trees. I stood on a chair to make sure it was empty and little pang of sadness went through me and I wished them well. Come back next year mama if you need a warm dry home. And then last week, on my way back up the driveway after a sweaty, extended walk, there on my front porch stood a small robin with molted feathers on its’ wings and head. I stopped to see what was wrong and the small bird looked up at the nest a few times, perhaps he had been distanced from mama or maybe she just wanted to take one more look at her former home before spreading it’s wings, taking flight and soaring for higher points above. With a small chirp and a jerk of its head, it sprang from it’s position, spread it still developing small wings and flew into a sunny blue sky.




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Turn On Your Heartlight

Mom and Sean dancing

By Ryan Hilligoss, February 6th, 2020

My mother Madonna Sue Barr Hilligoss would have turned 76 today. She’s been gone now for two and a half years. The day she passed was a hot August day. I was working, looking at my computer screen, sitting at my Uncle Ron’s roll top desk. My father called and said, “I couldn’t wake her up.”Five simple words including a contraction. A life boiled down into a contraction. I didn’t ask for clarification on what he meant. I didn’t need to ask, a part of me deep down knew what he meant: our mother was gone.

She had been diagnosed with Parkinson’s six or seven years prior and had started to show sign’s of memory issues that went hand in hand with her physical deterioration. We had been watching her symptoms quickly worsen over the last few months and it’s hard to watch a parent or any loved one for that matter slowly battle a fight they can’t win. You try to help the best you can but in the end, you all wind up helpless. The last time I saw her alive, she sat in her wheelchair in our kitchen, the kitchen she stood in and made us ten thousand meals, taking medicine my father passed to her one pill at a time. She was confused and lost, upset and crying and asking, “Why are all the kids leaving? I must have been a terrible mom.” What do you say to that? Feelings of guilt, sorrow, confusion and heart break as you stand, unable to answer or explain to someone no longer able to understand.

Three hundred miles away, unable to know what the hell is going on, I called our family friend and asked her to go to the hospital and see what’s going on. Thirty minutes later, she  calls back and says, “You need to come home.” Donna had suffered a cerebral aneurysm in her sleep and never gained consciousness again, but her body and the doctors fought to keep her on life support; long enough for us all to gather and long enough to keep her organs ready for donation as she had instructed in her wishes. Despite the Parkinson’s effects on her body and mind, her spirit fought long enough to beat the bastards and help two others live to see another day through her generosity and compassion.

With my son and daughter sitting in the back seat, I drove like a maniac, cutting valuable time off a normal 5 hour trip. Arriving at Barnes Jewish Hospital in St.Louis, late in the afternoon, I walked into her room to see her eyes closed, tubes running in a 100 directions, and machines hissing and popping, keeping her alive just long enough. I held her hands, the same hands that had held me, raised me, nurtured me a million times. We said our goodbyes and whispered into her ear. What do you say after a lifetime of love and countless moments. “Thank you mama. I love you. I’ll miss you. Rest now.”

The nurses responsible for her transport and operation to remove her donated organs come to see us and explain how it will work.  There is a blanket, blue on one side and tie dyed on the other. On a normal day, she would have loved the blue but would have hated the tie dye. She loved bright colors and dressing to the nines but it had to be the right colors in the preferred style. If she was awake and looked down to see the gaudy mix of colors, she would have let out her sternest curse word, “Oh crud.” The blanket was placed on her and the nurses said it would be with her the whole time and we would get it back later as a reminder of her gift. They handed out index cards and pens and tell us before the operation, the medical staff including nurses and doctors will pause and read our cards so they know a little bit about the person lying before them.

The exact wordings of the questions are lost to me now, but they asked to list what the person loved and a memory to share. I stare at the card. How do you sum up a lifetime of memories and an eternity of endless small moments that define a life, moments shared between son and mother, family, friends, pets. The clock on the wall continues to tick. The nurses wait, looking down at their feet, telling us to take our time even though we know they need to move quickly. The seconds pass. Memories flash through my mind at a break neck pace. What  I settle on is this: she loved music, she loved to dance, she loved her kids and family and sister. One song from thousands: Neil Diamond’s Heartlight. She loved Neil Diamond. She and my dad took me to see him for my first concert and many more after that. I played that song at my wedding for our mother/son dance. A memory shared: she used to ride her bike with me sitting on the bike in a child’s seat. That’s all I can fit on the card in my awful, child like handwriting. The nurses collect our cards, we say final goodbyes and they wheel her swiftly down the hallway, headed for the operating room. We watch as she disappears around the corner. Her spirit hangs in the air.

Mom and Bill Thomas

My handwriting on that 3×5 index card cheated her. Here’s what I would have liked to have written:

The Blue Bike: Her bike was a shiny blue, metallic flake cruiser. The black cushioned seat was had a white, fluffy wool cover. She had a child seat put on the back so she could ride me around the neighborhood until I started kindergarten. I have a clear memory of riding on the back of the bike on a clear, cool sunny spring morning. Some white clouds hang in the sky. We are riding along Highway 100, she’s taking me to my preschool at Evangelical church. She’s wearing blue pants and a short sleeved button up cotton shirt, and a white scarf on her head. I’m small enough I can’t see around her if I look straight ahead so I watch the cars passing along side us and I look up at the beautiful blue sky with not a care in the world.

Compassion: She had the biggest heart and felt empathy for anyone with a sad story or circumstance in life. She was always the “sucker” for people with a story about hard circumstances which forced them to beg for money even though deep down she knew she was being conned. She always felt a need to lend a helping hand and to look after the underdogs. Always feeling the pain of humans and animals alike that crossed her path.

The perfect birthday cake: For every birthday celebration in my family, year after year, she would bu what she considered the perfect birthday cake: From Duke Bakery in Alton, Il. A round, 16 inch two layered white cake with white frosting and a series of yellow roses on top. She always cut the cake and ensured she got the slice with the roses on top.

Day trips: When we were small children, she loved to go to Eckert’s Orchard in Grafton every fall so we could ride the wagon pulled by a tractor that would take us deep into the orchard lanes where we would collect red and green apples by the bushel full, taking home 10-12 bags at a time that we would put down in the basement and eat for two to three weeks. It was one of those bags that we took on road trip, driving out west to visit our family in Phoenix, that turned into a tragedy after our father ate a whole bag by himself and left the remains on the side of Interstate 10. I remember clearly her keeping me home from school one  fall day my kindergarten year so we could play hooky and made a whole day of apple picking, just the two of us enjoying a moment together.

Her girls: she always wanted a girl but wound up with three boys, I was the youngest and think she thought until the day I was born that I was going to be the girl she always wanted. But alas, there  I was, one more boy born on a hot July morning  in Springfield. Having decided to call child bearing quits, she gave up on the dream of having one of her own. Instead, over the years of running a restaurant and hiring hundreds of locals, she developed a whole series of girls she loved and considered her own. Karen Brooks, Kathy Lawrence, Carrie and Melissa Boomershine, Karin Lefferson, Renea Fencel White, Sherry Season, Dawn Lewis, Theresa Elliott, Gina Graham and many more. She loved them like they were her own daughters and many of them remained in touch after they had  moved on to other things in life. Instead of one girl, she had them by the basket full.


Saturday mornings: Yard sales, Duke’s Bakery for glazed donuts and orange drink, grocery store trips to Schnuck’s and carrying 10 packs of bottled Pepsi from the car to the house. Pearl Street Market for fresh meat at the butcher’s counter. Never ending hours spent waiting for to finish shopping at TJ Maxs, Marshall’s, Famous Barr, and Venture.

The Kreem Machine: She loved ice cream cones from Rick’s Kreem Machine on Elm Street and Henry in Alton.

House Hunting: There was a period of time when I was a kid she took me with her to look at houses all over Godfrey and Alton, the older the better. Historical and haunted. She loved it, I was spooked. The Alton House Tour every fall.

Cars: late 1970s Ford Mustang, yellow body, lack convertible top. Early 80’s Mustang, fox body, silver metallic body and red vinyl top. First a metallic gold Chrysler New Yorker and then a metallic baby blue New Yorker complete with the first mobile phone I ever saw or used. Black handset inside of a black leather bag, looking like something George Patton used to call in artillery strikes in North Africa.

Dogs: Max the Magnificent… first dog, a black dachshund, short hair, long body, floppy ears. he got so heavy as he got older, his weenie dragged in the snow leaving a trail from the front door to the yard, Coco a large gray poodle, and Gretchen our Airedale.  Alfie was her favorite. We went shopping at Target every Sunday before we went to the restaurant. The 5A dog shelter was next to the parking lot, surrounded by a chain link fence. We parked on the side and as we walked to the car, a small black poodle stood next to the fence looking in our direction and wagging her tail. Mom was a sucker for sad sweet faces and we came home with a new dog that day. She named her Alfie after the Dionne Warwick song. Alfie proceeded to drop a deuce on our dad’s pillow, letting him know where he stood on the food chain.

Auctions and antiquing on weekends

Trips to Springfield: Many weekends on Saturdays we would drive to Springfield to see her parents. We’d go to Jewel Osco where she would buy Sunbeam Bread by the sackful, her favorite bread which wasn’t available in St.Louis area, which we would take home and put in the deep freezer so she could eat it for months. Bottling gallon jugs of water from the spigot on the back of granddad’s house because Springfield water was much superior to Godfrey water in her mind. Del’s popcorn shop on 6th street where she’d buy flat pans of vanilla caramel by the pound, usually 8-10 pounds at a time. Maid Rite hamburgers, the original Maid Rite. Vics and Gabatoni’s pizza.

TV and movies: Friday nights she had to be home at 7:oo to watch Dallas, Falcon’s Crest, Benson and Different Strokes. Golden Girls, countless viewings of reruns like Alice, I Love Lucy and the The Andy Griffith Show, Murder She Wrote. Somewhere In Time, Awakenings, Big, Casper, The Natural, Somewhere In Africa.

Oak Ridge Cemetery: Our grandmother Ivy Barr died in the spring of 1983, one year after her seeing her beloved Cardinals win the world series. On later trips to see our grandfather, we’d go to the cemetery every time so she could check on her mommy’s grave, cleaning off the stone, straightening the flowers and arrangements. Bowing her head and talking to grandma’s spirit. Our grandfather William Hubert “Hubie” Barr passed in the spring of 1994, knocking her for a loop I don’t think she ever fully recovered from in some ways. An orphan.

Last year I posted the picture below on Facebook. Inspired by the photo, Sharon Hardin-Eaton, wrote a poem about this brief snapshot of a moment that I’d like to include here.

Mom with boys black and white


He didn’t know, when he snapped the picture,

What the camera had actually captured.

It happened so quickly, lasted so briefly

Only the camera understood what it caught.

In fact, not until years later, after her funeral,

Going through pictures with the boys,

Had he even looked at the snapshot again.

The day he’d snapped it was ordinary,

Just a day-in-the-life, like most other days.

Only when he pulled it from the stack

Of old photos, noticed how sunlight

Filled that whole space where they stood,

Donna and her boys, saw the way sunlight

Spun their hair to gold, made their faces shine,

Saw how light answered light, in their eyes,

Only then did he realize he’d captured

That subtle, brief moment disguised as ordinary,

That moment of realization that everything,

Every longing you’ve ever had is answered

In what you do have, and they each knew it.

My mind and memory are working faster than my fingers can type and I could be here all night as my brain dictates all the moments, big and small. This is for me and a way of holding onto the memories but it’s for others to maybe know a little bit about my mother since she’s no linger here to speak for herself. But her spirit is still here with all of us. I guess in a way, this is my answer, two years too late to what she said that morning two years ago. You were not a terrible mom. What you said was a manifestation of where your mind was at that time, beyond your control. You did your very best to love your kids and husband and sister and mom and dad and your friends. You raised us the best you could, the best you knew how while still being your own person, running a household, helping run a business, being a sister and daughter and all the other roles you played in life. We remember you and think of you everyday and love you. You rest for now. You’ll need your energy when I see you further on up the road and you give me another bike ride on a sunny beautiful spring day. Any maybe this time we’ll have music and Neil will be singing:

Turn on your heartlight
Let it shine wherever you go
Let it make a happy glow
For all the world to see
Turn on your heartlight
In the middle of a young boy’s dream
Don’t wake me up too soon
Gonna take a ride across the moon
You and me
Love you mama.


9 Things To Like Right Now

By Ryan Hilligoss January 5, 2020

In honor of Chicago Tribune columnist Mary Schmich who is a treasure to read on a  weekly basis and recently wrote this: “Almost everyday for the past year I’ve woken up with the same started thought: I’m alive. Sometimes I lie there ad say it aloud, though not on purpose. The words just pop out, as uninvited as a snore. I’m alive. I open my eyes and look at the room. It’s here. I’m here. Again. Huh. Interesting.”

Also inspired by my friend Dave who claims I can’t write anything less than 10,000 words and grows weary of my long windedness 🙂

  1. Plenty of good books to read on a cold winter day.

2. John Hodgman’s Medallion Status. Just finished this gem of a book, a second set of essays and pieces of heartfelt comedy and insight into life. He gives us a peek behind the curtain of celebrity and it’s trappings and explains why not being a celebrity is ok.

3. A new album and tour from The Boss Man and The E Street Band. Springsteen and the band have been recording in Colts Neck, NJ the last few months and an announcement seems imminent on new tour dates. Thank god, this news can’t come at a better time.

4. Family and friends….you can’t kill them and you can’t live without them

5. The walls between Bruce Springsteen and John Mellencamp came tumbling down recently as they joined each other on Pink Houses and Glory Days at Sting’s Rainforest Benefit. This made me pee a little and made a dream of mine real. Back in 2009, At the Obama concert, Bruce told Mellencamp band guitarist extraordinaire Andy York that Pink Houses was a great song and still stands up after all these years. I guess he’s been itching to play it since then. Maybe we’ll get a repeat of Bruce plays Indy this year.

6. My son and daughter and ex wife. Graham Ronald and Aurora Eva Rose bring me joy everyday and they are the best things I’ll ever accomplish in my life. Also thankful for my ex wife Kimberly. After a few years of a rocky experience, we’ve both come to the realization that it’s all about the kids well being and not our battles won or lost. Co-parenting, being single and trying to keep a life together can be exhausting often, but if you work together, it lightens the load a little.

7. Good advice from friends and heroes

8. Old pictures. With everything being digital and on line now, there’s something missing in the tangible act of holding and looking at physical pictures in your hands. Flipping through the family photo album can never be replaced by looking at a screen. Plus every once in a while you find a gift hiding in a folder or drawer.

9. Art and culture. Whether through books, movies, television, theater or whatever medium floats your boat, experiencing arts are the only way to shake the dust off of daily existence. Find some time everyday to either experience it or even better, do some yourself whether writing, painting, singing or playing spoons. Just do it.

10. Ok I know I said nine but for an added holiday bonus: practical Christmas gifts. Coffee: the power of my soul. Thanks Michelle!!

Thanks for reading. Take care of yourselves and help take care of each other when you can. Peace and love.

PS…look Dave…579 words…it’s amazing!!!!

Western Stars: Walk On Into The Light


Flawless execution in both musical performance and as a theatrical, cinematic piece.

The barn is essential to the music and the stories. It’s skeletal remains reflect the skeletal remains of most of the album’s characters who are nearing the end, having run from and away from everything that was ever good for them and the people that loved them. The barn’s wooden boards mirror what’s left of these characters: weathered and worn, fragile, slightly askew, but somehow still remaining and doing the best they can to hang on in a semblance of the work they used to perform

The barn is the perfect encapsulation of the vehicle used to deliver a story straight from the mythos of the West and western movies with their horses, cowboys, lonely men and wide open spaces filled simultaneously with blazing light, darkness and the shadows in between where the characters often find themselves living on the margins.


Bruce puts a huge collection of musicians and sounds in a very small space that reminded me so much of Elvis Presley’s stage show with a rhythm section, vocal support, a 30 piece orchestra, orchestra director and musical stage director. The sound embodies the pot pourri of musical tastes he’s been working at for 50 years. The country, pop sophistication of Jimmy Webb and Glen Campbell, a nod to the horn arrangements of Allen Touisaant who worked with country artists in the 70’s including Cambell, paying tribute to the Nashville songwriters like Guy Clark, Townes Van Zandt and Steve Earle on Somewhere North of Nashville, the pure pop of southern California Beach Boys and Phil Spector orchestrations, Smokey Robinsonesque vocals on Sundown and There Goes My Miracle, a few hints of the Cosmic County stylings of Graham Parson, The Flying Burrito Brothers and Emmylou Harris and everything in between. It’s a sonic orgasm.

Beautifully shot inside and outside, lush in sound and scenery, incredible arrangements and flawless in musicianship by all on stage. The sweeping scenery filled with cactus and desert scrub, loping horses and lonely characters walking in silence pairs perfectly with the music Springsteen and friends play. 

This movie earns 5 gold plated Takamine acoustic guitars hung on the wall.

“And so we keep walking through the darkness towards the sunrise because that’s where the light is. Happy trails pilgrim”


Halfway Between Heaven and Earth

By Ryan Hilligoss September 1, 2019

1825 Bertman 1

I woke up this morning with the half light of sunrise creeping through my window shades, wondering where the train was. Lingering in the state half way between dreamy slumber and consciousness, I heard the far distant sound of a train whistle a mile to my south emanating from a Canadian National freight train heading east to Chicago. A feeling of melancholy took hold of me as I realized I was taken from a dream, a dream of my youth. In my dream, I am 10 years old again, lying in my grand parents bed room in their house on the north end of Springfield, Illinois. In my dream, I can see myself as I lay in the dark listening to the train whistle and the click and clack of a long freight train passing on the tracks to the south. I lie in bed with sounds in my head as I watch the soft light shadows splayed on the ceiling above me, shadows coming from the trees and bushes outside the window, wondering where the train is heading, what the conductor looks like, and what mysterious materials are held in the big, heavy box cars.

I know dream researchers say that we all dream all the time, but for whatever reason, I have’t had many vivid dreams that I remember when I wake up in a long time. I think what set this off was, after having turned 45, the half way point for me in life hopefully, taking a recent trip to the Illinois State Fair held annually in Springfield near my grandparents old house. On the way into town, I drove by the old house to take a look at what had happened to it’s appearance since the house was sold last year after being in the family for close to 70 years. Not much had changed at least on the outside, what with some rock laid down in front of the shrubs in the front yard and some landscaping stones. With my kids in the backseat, I stopped for a short time in the street looking and remembering and sharing a few funny stories about my grandparents.Hubert and Iva Barr B&W

My maternal grandparents were William Hubert “Hubie” Barr born near Mattoon, Il August 30, 1916 and Iva “Ivy” White Barr. They married October 6, 1936 and had two daughters, Glenda Lou and Madonna “Donna” Sue while living in Mattoon near Western Avenue. My grandfather grew up on a farm near Lerna, Il, served in the Civilian Conservation Core, one of Roosevelt’s CCC Boys, worked for Hayes Freight and was a proud member of the Teamsters Union. My grandmother raised two great women while also working in various restaurants in Mattoon including Snappy Service. In the mid 50’s, Hayes Freight decided to move their operation to the state capital and the family  decided to move for a better opportunity. For $15,000, they built an 800 square foot, 3 bedroom, one bathroom house near the Fairview neighborhood of Springfield, bounded by Sangamon Avenue to the north, 19th Street to the east, North Grand Avenue to the south and 9th Street to the west.


A working class section of town, the north end was supported by jobs at the Illinois Watch Factory, Hayes Freight, a Pillsbury mill and shipping center among others. The bells of St. Aloysius on Sangamon avenue, a quarter mile to the north, could be heard ringing out throughout the day, the ones I remember were in the morning and at the end of the day. Burlington Northern tracks a quarter mile to the south had constant rail traffic running every 30 minutes with clanging bells alerting drivers as the gates came down halting traffic followed by the train whistle. Church bells to the north, train whistles to the south, both a quarter mile away, half way between heaven and earth, The state fair grounds to the northwest,  a short 15 minute walk away.  Both my mother and Aunt Glenda graduated from Lanphier High School to the south west.

Barr Family Christmas 1960

All this is to say the kind of neighborhood my grandparents and mom and aunt were a part of and lived in, and by extension myself and brothers Kevin and Sean and father. I was fortunate that my parents Robert and Donna Hilligoss lived in the Springfield area until 1977 when we moved to Godfrey, Il. Fortunate in that we got spend a lot of time with our grandparents at their house and in the area as our grandmother watched each of us for a time while our parents both worked, dad as a teacher and mom as a legislative aide at the Capitol. Even after we moved, we often times made the trek up and down I55 to see them and spend time together. Random memories: lunch and hamburgers at Maid Rite, hot dogs and chili at Den’s Chili Parlor, donuts at Mel-O-Cream, pizza from Vic’s and daily afternoon visits to the pubs and saloons dotting neighborhood corners in the area. Hubert would take us with him for his afternoon PBR, Falstaff or Schlitz beer. We’d sit next to him on a bar stool while he ordered one for him and would tell the bartender, “Set my boys up with a redeye!!” To this day I don’t know what the hell a  red eye is but it tasted just fine. Hubie wasn’t one to suffer fools gladly and had this sign on the front of the house right above the doorbell warning those dumb enough to read it and still ring the bell.


No agents or peddlers

Fairview Park was built after the houses were built and included basketball courts, a playground and 3 baseball fields, one for T ball, one for Sandy Koufax league teenagers and one for 10-12 year olds directly situated behind the house, with a 30 foot tall screen separating flyballs from the field from the backyard of the house. For as long as I can remember, one of his daily battles was waged against violators of the sign that clearly said “No one over 12 can hit balls from this field”. One by one, late teens and even adults would step onto the field with baseballs and bats, taking swings trying to knock one over the “Green Monster” in short left field, creating their own version of Home Run Derby. Balls would come flying over the fence into the backyard, some dropping innocently into the grass, some banging off the roof or window awnings and sometimes breaking a window. He’d hear the tink of a bat against ball or hear a thud off the roof and go tearing into the back yard, looking for the ball and after finding it, leaning against the fence holding the ball daring the perpetrator to come ask for the ball back: not many dared and those that did came away empty handed.

1825 Bertman 5

My grandparents maybe didn’t have lot in the way of financials, but they had a lot of love and grace, and they took great care of what they had, working daily to carry themselves with dignity and pride. Adding an awning over the front porch along with a glider seat to provide a shady spot to sit and rest and enjoy a beer every once in a while listening to the St.Louis Cardinals on the radio. Growing rose bushes in the backyard near the wooden swing. Later adding a full one car garage and work space along with an adjacent shaded porch. Ivy would play games with us all the time including shut the box, Go Fish, and endless rounds of Trouble. All of us spent a lot of time there as kids and then as teens and adults, coming back to visit as often as we could.


In 1983, our grandmother Ivy passed away after a long battle with cancer. In 1994, Hubie died from cancer as well. Our father who had decided to go back to teaching in the Springfield area in 1994 and had stayed with Hubert during that time took over the house and lived there most of the time until he retired. The house remained in our family until February 2018 when we decided it was time to sell the house after our mother died. On a cold, damp late winter day, we cleaned the house out one last time, donating most of the furniture and taking what was left, some for practical uses and some for sentimental reasons. After the work was done, we took one last look around, the years and memories and love swirling in our hearts and minds. After 70 years and thousands upon thousands of entrances and exits, we closed the front door one last time, making sure it was secure and locked, taking care just as they did.


Afterwards, we went and shared a meal together. Before leaving town to return home, I drove by the house one more time just to linger for a moment, lost in my memory. With the sun setting to the west and the golden glow of winter sun shining off the houses and rooftops, I parked my car and decided to take one more look around. As I have done hundreds of times, I climbed the 60s era television antenna ladder bolted to the west side of the house and stood on the roof overlooking the park and baseball fields of my youth. As I looked around the neighborhood remembering all the good times and those that have come and gone who graced the same ground, the church bells of St. Aloysius began ringing to the north and a freight train began rumbling to the south, letting off a whistle blast, a gift from Hubie and Ivy saying thank you, we love you and miss you Barski and Tevin and Shagnasty. The sun setting to the west, church bells to the north and a train whistle to the south, halfway between heaven and earth.


The Power of Music: Pete Seeger and Bruce Springsteen


Pete Seeger and Bruce Springsteen, Madison Square Garden, 2009

By Ryan Hilligoss, Shawn Poole and Jim Musselman

May 1, 2019

“The approach toward song as the potential to reach people and to touch people’s lives and to change the world in the sense is something he’s held a deep belief in and he’s pursued it his whole life.” Bruce Springsteen on Seeger


My friend Shawn Poole from and Backstreets Magazine and I want to pay our respects to Pete Seeger, who would be turning 100 years old on May 3. Pete passed away on January 27, 2014 at the age of 94, having lived a long, full life fighting for social justice, racial equality, world peace, and environmental safety. But more importantly, Pete Seeger’s message was delivered in the form of music, played on the banjo and accompanied by the many voices of his audience who always joined in with Pete on the chorus. Pete Seeger was and remains an icon of musical history, greatly responsible for the folk music revival of the late 1950s and early 60s. For his activism, Pete was once described by poet Carl Sandburg as being “America’s tuning fork”. Pete’s musical legacy and activism are reflected in many ways in the music and career of Bruce Springsteen. Bruce once said of Pete, “Pete was one of those guys who saw himself as a citizen artist, as a citizen activist. He had a very full idea of those things and how it connected to music and what music could do. The power that music had to influence and to inspire. That’s the power of folk music and that’s the power of Pete Seeger.”

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Joan Baez, Bruce Springsteen, Patti Scialfa, Pete Seeger and Tom Morello 5/3/2009 Madison Square Garden

What better way to start off  than watching Bruce Springsteen himself talking about the Pete Seeger’s legacy. Springsteen’s speech is taken from Pete’s 90th birthday celebration held at Madison Square Garden on May 3, 2009 where artists as diverse as Bruce, Tom Morello, John Mellencamp, Ani Defranco, Roger McGuin, Joan Baez and Arlo Guthrie helped celebrate Pete’s music and spirit. Pete insisted the concert be known as The Clearwater Concert and all the proceeds went to The Hudson River Sloop Clearwater, a foundation Pete and his wife Toshi helped create in 1966 to clean up the Hudson River and surrounding wetlands. At the birthday celebration, Bruce was joined by Tom Morello on a version of The Ghost of Tom Joad. You will see a version of The Ghost of Tom Joad featuring Pete Seeger trading verses with Bruce. I’ll talk about this a little more later, but it is of special note that longtime Seeger friend and mentor, Woody Guthrie, who also directly influenced Springsteen himself, wrote the song The Ballad of Tom Joad, inspired by John Ford’s 1940 film adaptation of John Steinbeck’s novel The Grapes of Wrath. Just as Woody was inspired by John Steinbeck, Springsteen was inspired by Guthrie and Steinbeck and wrote his own piece of art in the folk manner of adding lyrics and verses to a bit of pre-existing music. In 1995, Springsteen released his solo acoustic version of The Ghost of Tom Joad which was then covered by Rage Against The Machine in a much different version that cuts to to the anger and rage of a political situation. Later, Springsteen and RATGM guitarist Tom Morello would collaborate on a full band studio version which includes incredible guitar work from Morello that elevates the song to higher limits. The folk tradition is alive tonight.




Bruce Springsteen and The Seeger Sessions

In the liner notes to We Shall Overcome, Bruce Springsteen and The Seeger Sessions, released in 2006, Springsteen writes, “In 1997 I recorded, We Shall Overcome for Where Have All The Flowers Gone: The Songs of Pete Seeger. Growing up a rock and roll kid I didn’t know a lot about Pete’s music or the depth of his influence. So I headed to the record store and came back with an armful of Pete Seeger records. Over the next few days of listening, the wealth of songs, their richness and power changed what I thought I knew about “folk music” Hearing this music and our initial ’97 session for Pete’s record sent me off, casually at first, on a quest.”


Shawn Poole from here.  I was very pleased and honored to be asked by my buddy Ryan Hilligoss to contribute to this special project celebrating the 100th anniversary of Pete Seeger’s birth.  As Ryan noted, Pete made an enormous, lasting impact not only on music but on social and political conditions in the U.S. and around the globe.  Pete Seeger is also the only musician to date for whom Bruce Springsteen has recorded an entire album’s worth of songs in tribute.   The person whose spark started the fire that became that album, entitled We Shall Overcome: The Seeger Sessions, is Jim Musselman, the founder and president of Appleseed Recordings. Appleseed is based in West Chester, PA, not too far from where I live, and recently I had the pleasure of visiting with Jim Musselman and chatting with him about how The Seeger Sessions happened, Bruce Springsteen’s relationship with Pete Seeger and Bruce’s continued relationship with Appleseed Recordings as one of their official recording artists, including his most recently released recording for Appleseed, a Seeger Sessions outtake recording of Lee Hays and Pete Seeger’s classic song “If I Had A Hammer.” I’ll be sharing with you some excerpts from our conversation. Here’s Jim talking about how The Seeger Sessions came to be, followed by a bit of recording that Jim made with Pete Seeger himself talking about The Seeger Sessions and its opening track. Take it away, Jim and Pete.

We Shall Overcome

Shawn Poole:  You just saw Bruce Springsteen and the Seeger Sessions Band’s version of Old Dan Tucker,“introduced” by Pete Seeger himself through the magic of technology, and thanks to Jim Musselman of Appleseed Recordings for sharing that recording of Pete with us for this special project. There is another version of “Old Dan Tucker,”  from Bruce Springsteen & The Seeger Sessions Band’s 2006 performance at the New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival. Bruce has listed that performance among his top concerts of all time and just last weekend while onstage with Thom Zimny in a special screening of archived footage at the Asbury Park Music & Film Festival, announced that he hopes to release a film of that entire 2006 Jazz Fest performance. Stay tuned, Seeger Sessions Band fans! The first recording of a Pete Seeger song that Bruce Springsteen ever contributed to Appleseed Recordings was his version of “We Shall Overcome,” the song that Pete helped to compose and popularize during the Civil Rights era. Bruce recorded his version of “We Shall Overcome,” with the musicians who later became The Seeger Sessions Band, for the 1998 Appleseed Seeger tribute album Where Have All The Flowers Gone?  “We Shall Overcome” is a song that has been used by so many people all over the world to give them strength and courage during their struggles.  When the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks occurred, NBC News used Springsteen’s version of “We Shall Overcome” over a montage of video footage from the aftermath of the attacks. Here’s Jim Musselman talking about what that meant to Pete Seeger.

You just saw Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band along with guest Roger McGuinn of the Byrds covering Pete Seeger’s Turn! Turn! Turn!. This version was performed on April 23, 2008 and released officially shortly after. Roger McGuin and the Byrds were one of many artists to cover Pete’s songs back in the 1960’s as part of the folk revival. Turn turn turn was written by Pete Seeger in the late 1950s. The lyrics – except for the title, which is repeated throughout the song, and the final two lines – are adapted word-for-word from the first eight verses of the third chapter of the biblical Book of Ecclesiastes. In addition to Pete Seeger, Bruce Springsteen was greatly influenced by Roger McGuinn, so once again, the music comes full circle with this recording.

During his blacklist period, one of the few ways Pete could earn a living to support his wife and kids was to teach music at summer camps and at schools. He also toured colleges, presenting his brand of folk music, teaching a great amount of American traditional songs to a new generation. Pete recorded several albums for Moe Asch’s Folkways Record label. He was a frequent columnist in the folk publication Sing Out! Pete also urged John Hammond at Columbia records to sign and produce Bob Dylan. As a founding member of the Newport Folk Festival, Pete was integral to pushing for the inclusion of many various artists as wide ranging as The Weavers, Sonny Terry and Brownie McGhee, Earl Scruggs, Odetta, Kingston Trio, Peter, Paul and Mary,  Cisco Huston and Joan Baez.

Next you’ll hear Jim Musselman discuss American Land and then hear a live version of the song played by Bruce Springsteen and The Seeger Sessions band taken from the Live in Dublin release.

The American Land- There’ll be diamonds in the sidewalks


Shawn Poole:  We are celebrating Pete Seeger’s 100th birthday today.  You just saw Bruce Springsteen and the Seeger Sessions Band’s live version of Bring ‘Em Home taken from the Live In Dublin release which is available on audio and video. Also, we included Pete Seeger doing his own Waist Deep In The Big Muddy taken from his appearance on The Smothers Brothers show in 1968. Pete Seeger and the other band mates in the Weavers were blacklisted from radio and television during the age of McCarthyism and Pete was banned from tv until 1968 when the Smothers Brothers went toe to toe with the CBS management, insisting Pete be allowed to perform or they would not produce any new episodes of their very popular show. Pete said and did things as he thought were right and for that, he paid an awfully high price. In 1992, Springsteen released the album Lucky Town along with Human Touch. The album contained The Big Muddy, which while very different in the story and arrangement, bears a very striking similarity to Pete’s song in the title.

Here’s very high compliment that Pete Seeger once gave Bruce Springsteen back in a 1997 New York Times Magazine profile of Bruce: ”He’s a very honest, gentle guy, not showoffish. I once read an interview with him where he said that a rock musician can stay honest if he can look down into the footlights and see his own face reflected there. I wrote his manager, Jon Landau, a letter after I saw that saying that it’s really great that you’ve managed to stay normal good people despite the huge amount of publicity and big sales. Think of how many people’s lives have been ruined by fame.”

Woody and Pete

This Train Is Bound For Glory- Woody Guthrie, Pete Seeger and Springsteen

It’s hard to talk about Pete Seeger without talking about his friend, mentor, and kindred spirit Woody Guthrie. This Land Is Your Land is often identified with Pete, but it was written by Guthrie who had been out on one of his many cross country rambles, came home and wrote down the lyrics and wrote in the margins, “You can only write what you see”. Just like many other songs like We Shall Overcome, Little Boxes, Jacob’s Ladder and Goodnight Irene, Pete didn’t write them, he might have added some verses or words or covered them, but they are folk songs that he helped pass along to the next generation. As a young man, Pete Seeger worked at the Library of Congress along with Alan and John Lomax on their recording project wherein they went around the country recording every different kind of music they could find in the field including blues, gospel, bluegrass, and country. During this period, Alan Lomax invited Woody Guthrie to Washington DC to record some of his material. One day, Woody showed up with no notice as was his style, Alan introduced him to Pete who accompanied Woody on many of his recordings since Pete could play whatever instrument and style Woody required. Afterwards, Woody left Washington and headed for California and took Pete with him and showed him how to ride the railways, how to busk for money playing music on street corners and earning money for food and lodging, and teaching him all the music he knew. As a member of the Almanac singers in 1941, Pete invited Woody to join their group which he did and the group recorded several albums of 78s including folk music, union songs and anti-Fascist songs prior to the outbreak of World War II.


Many of Woody’s guitars sometimes had the words “This machine kills fascists” on the face. Pete learned from Woody’s message and turned his own into a message of love and hope and so on the head of his banjo, Pete wrote, “This machine surrounds hate and forces it to surrender.”

Woody Guthrie was very politically motivated and involved in many movements over the years as was Pete Seeger. In 1955, under McCarthyism, Pete Seeger was called in front of the House on Un-American Activities due to his outspoken support of civil rights, labor rights, racial equality, and anti-militarism. During his testimony, Pete said, “I have sung for Americans of every political persuasion, and I am proud that I never refuse to sing to an audience, no matter what religion or color of their skin, or situation in life. I have sung in hobo jungles, and I have sung for the Rockefellers. I decline to discuss, under compulsion, where I have sung, and who has sung my songs, and who else has sung with me, and the people I have known. I love my country very dearly, and I greatly resent this implication that some of the places that I have sung and some of the people that I have known, and some of my opinions, whether they are religious or philosophical, or I might be a vegetarian, make me any less of an American.”


Hobo’s Lullabye was written and originally recorded by Goebel Reeves in the early 1930’s and his song was covered by many artists over the years including Woody Guthrie who sang it often and turned it into a hit. Below is a link to hear Bruce Springsteen and The Seeger Sessions Band performing Reeve’s song with Pete on harmony and banjo. This is the only song Springsteen and The Seeger Sessions band actually recorded with Pete.




We’ve Got A Hammer, We’ve Got a Song

Shawn Poole: I want to share with you all one more clip from my conversation with Appleseed Records founder and president Jim Musselman, accompanied by another Bruce Springsteen Appleseed recording, before Ryan then closes out today’s show. Here’s Jim talking about Bruce’s most recently released recording for Appleseed, a Seeger Sessions outtake recording of Lee Hays and Pete Seeger’s classic song “If I Had A Hammer.” The track is available exclusively on the 3-CD set Appleseed’s 21st Anniversary: Roots & Branches. Visit for more information. Now here’s Jim.




Getting Clean again, From The Redwood Forests To The Gulf Stream Waters

My friends Shawn Poole and Jim Musselman and I would like to thank you for reading, watching and listening as we  paid our respects to one of America’s finest musicians and human beings of the last 100 years.

In 1972, after playing a concert a young man walked up to Pete and said, “Are you Pete Seeger? I’ve come here to kill you.” Pete had been threatened many times over the years by many different people for many different reasons, mostly political, but this seemed different, so Pete took the young man aside to talk to him. The young man had served in the Marines in Vietnam and had lost many friends in battle and the young man was outraged by some of the things Pete said and the songs he sang. They talked for a while and then Pete pulled out his banjo and together they sang “We Shall Overcome”. Afterwards the young man said to Pete, “I feel better now, I feel clean.” That’s the beauty of Pete Seeger, that’s the beauty of music. If you can sing along and you sing loud enough, you can make a difference and maybe you can even save a life. Maybe you can feel clean again.

Pete often described his work in this way, “I see myself as a planter of seeds. Some of the seeds land on the stones and don’t sprout. Some land on the pathway and get stomped on. But, some land on good ground, take root and sprout a 1,000,000 times over”.

The message of Pete Seeger and also of Bruce Springsteen is this, if you love your country and the world, you’ll find a way to speak up for what you think is right. Pete used his voice and music and that glorious banjo, just as Bruce Springsteen continues to use his voice and guitar to speak out for what is right, for what is good and true and decent in America and around the world. As long as music is played, as long as we sing along, there is hope. Even in the darkest times, let’s keep singing, even if we don’t know the words, Pete will give them to us and we just sing along and maybe we can raise the roof a little higher. So let’s all join in on one final song, and do me a personal favor and sing as loud as you can no matter who might be listening. It’s simple, Pete will give us the words and you just repeat after him. So here we go….a one, a two…a one, two, three, four….



Postscipt- Like a ripple from a pond

After Pete passed, Springsteen released this statement: “We deeply mourn the passing of Pete Seeger. We believe that nobody is truly gone until all those who are touched or influenced by that person are gone from the Earth…So Pete will live on in the hearts and minds of so many for years to come. His vision of peace and justice and equality for all will live on and continue to influence. His music has been used all over the world for social justice. From the Civil Rights movement to the anti-war movements Pete and his songs have been there on the front lines. Like a ripple that keeps going out from a pond Pete’s music will keep going out all over the world spreading the message of non-violence and peace and justice and equality for all. Wherever people are fighting to be free or fighting for equality Pete’s songs and Pete’s vision will be there with them.”



Pete Seeger entertains Eleanor Roosevelt and guests

My American Dream: Favorite Albums of 2018

by Ryan Hilligoss, January 30, 2019


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2018 was a great year in music for fans of all kinds of music. Every year is a great year for music fans if you just know where to look and where to listen whether it be on Sirius/XM, YouTube, terrestrial radio, or, oh my, walking through an actual record store where they still exist and browsing. I’ve heard that music and radio are dead but that couldn’t be more false. Radio stations as many of us knew them growing up are over, being run and programmed by corporate masters far away. No more disc jockeys helping break a new artist they like the sound of by playing their records often in the rotation. Now it’s artists having their own YouTube pages, fans listening on snapchat and Instagram or downloading through their favorite sources. But the music is still there. Musicians are still there making the music they love and wanting to share it with other like minded souls, only if the fans have the ears to listen.

I know it’s the end of January and these top 10 type lists are usually written by mid December, but the holidays and other personal issues have kept me from the keyboard, so for anyone interested, here are my favorite albums of 2018. This is not a ‘best of’ list that implies the writer somehow has a lock on quality or more discerning ears than others, this is my humble list of the albums that spoke to me the most as a listener.

Will Hoge- My American Dream

My friend Jeff Calaway turned me onto Will Hoge a few years ago by suggesting I listen to Hoge’s latest album at the time Never Give In. I loved his style, song writing, lyrics, melodies and his voice which spoke to my Midwestern roots but with universal themes. I’ve since followed him through Small Town Dreams and his excellent 2017 release Anchors which seemed to cover a lot of the same ground I was living in my own life at the time with themes of loss, regret, divorce and it’s results. 2018 saw the release of Hoge’s My American Dream, an angry, violent, loud indictment of the current administration and the current state of our lives, hard working people on both sides of the border doing their best to make a living but barely living and making ends meet. His prior albums have been mostly acoustic guitar, softer sound but this one jumps off the needle from the first to the last track with hard charging guitars and drums, pounding out a warning call on the corruption, meanness and stupidity now sweeping across the nation like an ill wind. From Gilded Walls, Oh Mr.Barnum, Thoughts and Prayers and through the title track, Hoge displays some of his finest song writing of his career and sending a wake up call for his listeners.

Kacey Musgraves- Golden Hour


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I’ve had very few celebrity crushes in my life, but Kacey is at the top of my list. her physical beauty is outshine by the beauty of her voice and strength of her song writing, her voice is one of the finest and purest in modern music, on parallel with Roy Orbison and Jackie Wilson in tone, range and smoothness. She followed up her hit Pageant Material with Golden Hour which shines all the way through and includes Wonder Woman, Space Cowboy and High Horse. Deservedly, she’s been nominated for several awards this year including artist of the year, album and song of the year. I’m glad she’s part of emerging female voices in country/pop along with Margo Price and Marren Morris to counter the long held male territory.


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Leon Bridges- Good Thing- The Texas raised artist follows up his 2015 smash Smooth Sailing with Good Thing. His initial release was a modern nod to the smooth soul and R&B of Sam and Dave, Sam Cooke and Ray Charles with a retro sound. Based on the popularity and success of his first album, it would have been easy for him to stick with that sound but on Good Thing, he takes a 180 turn into fully modern sounds of R&B, jazz and pop and uses his smooth voice to bring it all to the front. I was able to see him perform in Chicago as part of his tour and it was one of the best and most powerful shows I attended this year. I look forward to him having a long career and hearing where he goes with each new release.


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Nathaniel Rateliff and The Night Sweats- Tearing At The Seams- This Stax Records group returns with their second album of original material after their initial breakout 2015  self entitled album with Tearing At The Seams. The classic Stax sound with nods to the great Stax musicians of Booker T and the MGs is apparent from the first track, Shoe Boot, an extension in title and sound to the MGs Boot Leg. The front man’s voice is classic soul and R&B with his own touch and the album is strong from start to finish which ends with the album title track, a passionate, painful expression of the process and after effects of divorce. They’re all great but highlights for me are A Little Bit Of Honey, Hey Mama and Still Out There Running.

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John Prine- Tree of Forgiveness- Prine returns in his best form with his first album of original material in 10 years. In an interview, Prine said his wife, family and friends staged an intervention and sent him to a hotel to stay and focus on writing new material. Prine is one of the finest song writers of the last 50 years, giving writers such as Townes Van Zandt, Bruce Springsteen and Steve Goodman a run for their money. As can be seen in the album cover photo, Prine acknowledges and embraces his age on the album songs which touch on life, aging, the human heart’s mysteries and in a classic move, a kiss off to his few critics on the albums final track, When I Get To Heaven. The track Boundless Love contains my favorite lyrics of the whole album and represent the classic Prine touch of common day things, the daily lives of his listeners and turning them on their heads.

“Sometimes my ol’ heart is like a washing machine
It bounces around till my soul comes clean
And when I’m clean, when hung out to dry
I’m gonna make you laugh until you cry

Surround me with your boundless love
Confound me with your boundless love
I was drowning in the sea, lost as I could be
When you found me with your boundless love”

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Paul McCartney- Egypt Station– As he has always done and will continue to do as time allows, McCartney finds a brilliant way to capture modern sounds and styles with fresh material while always maintaining the level of quality and songwriting that is his standard. From straight up rock and pop to dance and EDM and ballads, he makes it interesting from start to finish. At this point in his carer, he could easily become a parody of himself or just cash it in, but the artistic drive still propels him to search for answers in the same 12 notes and octave.

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Janelle Monae- Dirty Computer- This beautiful, vivacious, multi talented artist continues her mastery with Dirty Computer. Blending funk, soul, R&B and rock, she takes influences as wide as Jackie Wilson, James Brown, George Clinton and Prince and makes her own way through the musical landscape. Her shows and videos are visually stunning and she continues to press the boundary of current art with an eye on tomorrow.


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Nalani and Sarina- The Circle- These two sisters from New Jersey released their best album of material so far in their short career. The production is cleaner and smoother and mixed to maximize their beautiful harmonies and power of their lyrics. From the first track until the end, the album is full of high quality lyrics, themes and melodies. Their voices are so natural and blend so well together, they remind me of other sibling artists like The Everly Brothers and Ann and Nancy Wilson. Blending rock, pop, R&B and funk to make their own sound. Highlights include Welcome To The Rest Of Your Life, Never Let Go Of Your Hand and Tomorrow and Yesterday. I’ve been able to see them perform live twice and they put on a tremendous live performance full of energy and attitude and musical versatility powered by their 5 piece band.

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First Aid Kit- Ruins 


First Aid Kit is a Swedish folk duo that consists of the sisters Klara (vocals/guitar) and Johanna Söderberg (vocals/keyboards/Autoharp/bass guitar). They are folk based but blend in country and rock when they are joined by their band. Their voices are immaculate and stunning and join for harmonies out of this world. Rebel Heart, Fireworks and Postcard are highlights for me. It’s amazing to me that they know the American song book so well with obvious influences of Emmy Lou Harris, Joan Baez, Joni Mitchell and others. Below is my favorite song by them as they pay tribute to Emmy Lou and Graham Parsons with Emmy Lou in attendance.

Honorable mentions: Roseanne Cash She Remembers Everything, Tom Petty’s American Treasure, Elvis Presley with Royal Philharmonic Where No One Stands Alone, Brandi Carlile and Bruce Springsteen’s live Broadway performance soundtrack.
Happy listening and let me know what your favorites were in 2018.